


tu me fais sentir

by eliottamoureux



Series: tumblr drabbles/prompt fills [13]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and eliott being the sweetest bf in the entire world, lucas' asshole dad being an asshole, mild panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 16:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21018476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliottamoureux/pseuds/eliottamoureux
Summary: sick/scared lucas & protective eliott&“Just breathe, okay?”and“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”





	tu me fais sentir

**Author's Note:**

> yet another prompt fill, this time combined from two anons. 
> 
> fair warning though, there is a panic attack depicted in this work, mild and not-detailed as it may be. i'm going to paste my original note in here:
> 
> _in this prompt-fill i’m not trying to depict an all-encompassing experience of panic attacks, nor an all-encompassing solution to deal with them. this is largely based on my own experiences with them, and i’m by no means a professional when it comes to panic disorders. if you don’t feel comfortable reading about panic attacks, i understand completely! take care of yourself first._
> 
> originally posted [on my tumblr!](https://eliottamoureux.tumblr.com/post/186312040427/hello-can-you-write-a-protective-eliot-and-sad) send me prompts/asks/anything on there, if you like.

Lucas is still a bit hesitant about asking to come over to his place. He loves to tease him— affectionately, of course— for being so _polite _about it. He loves to send him a reassuring message, loves to press a kiss into his hair and tell him that he doesn’t have to ask, that _my home is your home, too._

So when he gets a text from Lucas reading ‘_are you home right now’, _he’s immediately concerned. He sends a quick ‘_yeah, why?’ _

When Lucas responds ‘_i need to see you i’m coming over now’, _he knows with a drop in the pit of his stomach that something is wrong.

‘_of course,’ _he replies, ‘_i’ll unlock the door, just come right in when you get here_’. Minutes later he hears the door open, and he smiles out of instinct. But his face falls when he sees the anxiety, the _fear _in Lucas’ entire body.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, and Lucas stares at him. His breathing is heavy— _did he run here?— _but then it gets heavier, and heavier, and _oh._

Eliott knows what’s going on here. He’s never been the helper for a panic attack— only ever the helped— but he knows what’s going on here.

He’s on his feet in a second.

“Lucas, hey,” He says as he stands in front of Lucas. He takes Lucas’ head in his hands as gently as he can, leaving plenty of room for Lucas to pull away if he sees fit. “Look at me.” He rubs his thumb lightly along the skin of Lucas’ cheek. “You’re having a panic attack.” He says as evenly as possible, even though his heart breaks when he sees the frantic tears that have started to roll down his boyfriend’s cheeks. “You’re safe, I promise. I won’t let anything hurt you.” Lucas closes his eyes for a moment, then reaches his hand up to cover his own. Eliott thinks for a moment that he’s going to pull his hand off, but Lucas just leaves it there. They stand like that for a few minutes, and then Lucas’ eyes are open again. His breathing has started to even out— still shallow, still gasping, but not quite as much as before.

“Here, let’s breathe together. As deep as you can. In,” Eliott is breathing a bit exaggeratedly, but he reasons with himself that it’s for Lucas, he reasons with himself that he would do anything. “And out. Good, keep going. In… And out.” Lucas nods at him, and he warms when he realizes that Lucas is responding to him now. 

It takes another short while for Lucas’ breathing to even out to a near-regular pace, and Eliott presses their foreheads together, and he melts at the small smile on Lucas’ face when he pulls back.

“You okay now?” He asks, and Lucas nods.

“I think so. I’m sorry.” Lucas says quietly. Eliott kisses him before he can say anything more.

“Hey,” He coos, cradling Lucas’ face as he pulls back. “There’s nothing to apologize for. You help me through when things get bad, right?” He’s ready to list off every single time that Lucas has helped him. _You saved me, _he wants to say. _You’ve saved me more than once._ “I want to do the same for you, too. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I do, but… Not now. I’m tired, can we sleep?”

“Of course.” He takes Lucas’ hand in his, leading him to his bed. They settle down quickly, and Lucas is snoring softly in no time.

And if Eliott lays awake while Lucas sleeps soundly, ensuring that nothing else happens to him— Lucas doesn’t have to know.

“It was about my dad.” Lucas says softly, his eyes blinking open. Eliott wasn’t even sure he was awake. 

“Hm?”

“Me freaking out.” Lucas turns to look at him, his eyes serious but soft. “It was because of my dad.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He takes Lucas’ hand, presses a kiss to his forehead.

“No, I do.” Lucas’ response is almost immediate, and he presses a kiss of his own against Eliott’s temple. “If it’s you, then I want to.”

“Okay.” He tries to ignore the way his heart pounds against his ribcage— _if it’s you, then I want to—_ “Don’t feel like you have to tell me everything all at once, though.”

Lucas’ eyebrows furrow. 

“He just… He always knows how to get in my head.” He can hear the frustration, wants to wrap Lucas in his arms and never let anything affect him like this ever again. “No matter what I say, no matter what I do. Even if I ignore him, he still knows how to hit me where it hurts.”

“_Hit you?”_

_“_No, not like that!” Lucas bolts upright, holding Eliott’s face in his hands. “I mean, metaphorically. He’s never hit me. Or my mom— that wasn’t good wording, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” He says, trying to hide the fact that he was planning a murder in his head for a brief moment.

“You know how he pays my rent for me, right?” Eliott nods. “Well, he’s made it this sort of… _deal_, now. I have to see him once every two weeks. He has this new girlfriend, and I— it seems to be more to please her, than to actually salvage the relationship we never really had.” Eliott sits up, too. He rubs Lucas’ back reassuringly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about them sooner—”

“Hey, nothing to apologize for, remember?” Lucas smiles again as they hug. “You tell me stuff like this when— _if_— you’re ready. Don’t feel obligated.”

“Right.” They pull apart after a long moment, and then Lucas continues. “Well they’ve always been… _mostly _tolerable. A couple of hours, twice a week. Painful, but doable. But I saw him today, and it was just the two of us. I _tried _to keep things surface-level, to restrict myself to small talk but he caught me. Told me off for not _actually _telling him things. I said there wasn’t anything new to tell. He said that was bullshit. He asked about you, and said—” He immediately goes on high alert— if he wasn’t on high alert before. “And he said that he was surprised we were still together.” 

“Fuck him.” _He doesn’t get to say that, he shouldn’t get to say anything, he doesn’t deserve to spend time in your presence._

“I know, I know. He said that ‘we Lallemant men never stay tied down for long,’ I asked him what that meant. And he said—” Lucas stops and takes a deep breath. Eliott can hear the way his voice starts to quiver. He knows that it often precedes tears. “That we fall out of love easier than we fall in it. Brought up my mom. Brought up the fact that it wasn’t his fault, since she was _crazy.” _It brings Eliott back to the first and only moment Lucas ever broke his heart— _I don’t need crazy people in my life_— when he was hiding and hurting. They’ve come so far since then, and this conversation is proof. He realizes that just because Lucas has grown out of reacting in such a way doesn’t mean that everyone has. _“_And then I said that I was nothing like him, that I wouldn’t let myself become anything like him. He said that…” Eliott cups Lucas’ cheek with one hand, swipes at the first tear that falls with his thumb. “He said I already am.” Lucas looks so _scared, _he’s never seen him look this afraid before, of anything. “I’m not, am I?”

“No. Lucas, no.” He holds Lucas’ face in both of his hands, makes sure that he’s paying attention. “You’re not, you never will be.” He presses feather-light kisses all over Lucas’ face to send his points home. “You’re the nicest person I know. The way you care about others, and the way you make it seem so _easy, _it’s one of my favourite things about you.” And it _is. _If he had to list every single thing he loved about Lucas, they would be here until the sun sets, then rises, then sets again. “You fall in love with everything, with music, with science, with sports, though I will never see why.” Lucas laughs, just a little, more a breath than anything else. “You love me, and you don’t have any plans on stopping soon, do you?” They’ve had conversations like this a couple of times already, when one of them feels insecure. _You love me, and I love you, right? _

He’ll remind Lucas for the rest of time if he has to.

“No.”

“Good, because I don’t, either.” And he means it, _god _does he mean it. “You’re nothing like him, I promise you, okay?”

“Okay. I believe you.”

“And hey, next time? In two weeks when you have to go see your father again, could I— if it doesn’t make you feel weird— could I come with you?” Lucas looks at him in shock, and Eliott gets nervous. _Was that a stupid question?_ He knows that Lucas can handle himself, that he shouldn’t assume he needs his help and he’s ready to take his question back and—

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, please.” Lucas’ expression has changed completely— the adoration is so plain on his face that Eliott blushes under his gaze. “It would be weird, he always makes things weird. But things are easier with you.” And then they’re kissing, short and sweet and _perfect._ “You make me feel strong.”

It’s moments like these when love hits Eliott like a freight train. When he realizes that he gets to be vulnerable, gets to be completely and utterly himself around the boy that he loves, and that he gets to see Lucas do the same. He throws himself on top of Lucas tackling him down to the bed once more, pressing kisses all over his face.

“You make me feel strong, too.” He says, soft against Lucas’ neck.

—

The next two weeks pass without much notice. Eliott’s never met Lucas’ father— not properly— and he tries to quell his nerves, laces their fingers tightly together to stop his hands from shaking.

He looks at Lucas, sees the way his whole body tenses as he looks at the restaurant where they’re to meet him. He smiles down at him, squeezes his hand just a little tighter.

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.” When Lucas takes a deep, steadying breath, he takes one too. He presses a kiss into his hair as they enter.


End file.
